Pressure

You always wanted me to be, whoever you wanted me to be, but me, so I went along with it

I needed you to tell me it’s ok even when I lost my way

But it was always my fault anyway, nothing mattered

In your eyes I was a burden, someone to cast aside

Loneliness as my guide

Putting my pride aside losing my sense of self is how I got by

Losing my mind, insecurity walked in

Shaving me into the unfamiliar

Walked right into it and got lost, is there a way to recover

Treating me like an unwanted stepchild

Felt like there was no way out

Everything in a cycle of deception

Recycled compliments but barely

Fighting to be free from this invisible sequence

Set to destroy me

Alone I cry out can’t sleep at night

Sounds of the day fill my mind

Pictures awaken the peace of my heart

Silence doesn’t exist

Do you know how much it hurts?

The looks, the stares, and the unwanted glares

Your assumptions make me feel so empty inside

Like the ice queen , freezing time just to clear my mind

Feel so calm but just for a minute

Back again, all over again

I pretend it’s ok, I’m fine

Just to listen to insults and gossip

All around town

Perfection doesn’t exist

Deja vu

Slowing down my piece of mind

© Joanne Guillard 2022

Check out Joanne’s Poetry Lounge on Spotify and Apple Podcast

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