Pressure
--
You always wanted me to be, whoever you wanted me to be, but me, so I went along with it
I needed you to tell me it’s ok even when I lost my way
But it was always my fault anyway, nothing mattered
In your eyes I was a burden, someone to cast aside
Loneliness as my guide
Putting my pride aside losing my sense of self is how I got by
Losing my mind, insecurity walked in
Shaving me into the unfamiliar
Walked right into it and got lost, is there a way to recover
Treating me like an unwanted stepchild
Felt like there was no way out
Everything in a cycle of deception
Recycled compliments but barely
Fighting to be free from this invisible sequence
Set to destroy me
Alone I cry out can’t sleep at night
Sounds of the day fill my mind
Pictures awaken the peace of my heart
Silence doesn’t exist
Do you know how much it hurts?
The looks, the stares, and the unwanted glares
Your assumptions make me feel so empty inside
Like the ice queen , freezing time just to clear my mind
Feel so calm but just for a minute
Back again, all over again
I pretend it’s ok, I’m fine
Just to listen to insults and gossip
All around town
Perfection doesn’t exist
Deja vu
Slowing down my piece of mind
© Joanne Guillard 2022
Check out Joanne’s Poetry Lounge on Spotify and Apple Podcast
